"it" just moved
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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