come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
