i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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