You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize