Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
