btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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