I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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