My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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