so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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