Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I want to fling myself into the sun
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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