Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
When are your genitals available?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
