Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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