so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize