nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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