I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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