Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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