The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
