Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
