I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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