I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
