Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
