His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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