I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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