Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
