fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I am naked and annoyed.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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