She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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