Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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