What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
