dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
