ya dads aren't the best wingmen
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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