My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
