is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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