So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize