Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
