im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
