Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
