how can u be prego again
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
