Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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