I'm lost and stupid without you.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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