you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
