You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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