38 yer olds are good kisserssss
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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