I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
