U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
