you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize