apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
