so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
