i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
