Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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