you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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