That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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