I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
