How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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