would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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