i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
