you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
