my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
