Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
