Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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