I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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