there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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