he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Randomize
